cant get over what she did/ how i acted

[jasn88cubs]

In July of 2014 I started dating this girl I met. We started taking it slow and we didnt jump into anything really serious at the start. she was in her last semester of college and working a full time job along with a part time job.

Though as we kept progressing we started to get more feelings for each other and we became more serious even though we both sort of held back our true feelings for each other. i fell hard for her. she was thoughtful, caring and just a sweet girl. she was marriage material

In november she told me was going to visit her friend in texas , he is in the military and was going to be getting shipped out i wa sort of annoyed and found it a little suspicious. she said he was just a good friend and i had nothing to worry about, she just wanted to see him before he was shipped off. i decided to not fret over it

she went there and stayed about 2 days. when she came back i could tell something was different . just the way she was texting. i knew something was up but wanted her to tell me without e questioning. a week after she got back she dumped me. i asked why and she said that she was just to busy with school and had no idea where life would take her after she graduated

then 3 days after that this texting conversation happened

her: i got married. thats why we broke up
me: excuse me?
her: i got married
me: what the hell do you mean you got married
her: ummi married a male i am in love with
me: when the **** did this happen?!?!?!
her: when i went to texas
me: are you ****ing kidding me??!!?
her: it just happened all of a sudden
me: was this planned
her not really
me: didnt you tell me i had nothing to worry about?
her: yes
me: and?!?!?!?!
her: im sorry
me: ****ing bull****..why the hell did you date me and tell me you loved me if you loved this guy
her: well hes in the military..we had a pact we would get married 5 years from now but he wanted to now
me: thanks..glad to now i was just a time waster
her: you werent. i do like you. hes just more compatible. i was gonna end up with him no matter what
me: then why waste my time
her: i dont see it as a time waster...we both learned
me: this is so ****ing stupid
her:i love him...i couldnt dream of a better man coming into my life...hes not better than you at all and you are wonderful..me and him just have more in common.
me: wow
her: im sorry i never meant to hurt you


i didnt talk to her for like a week later afer i stopped contact with her she texted me saying she was gonna divorce him and she truly loved me and she made a mistake

we started dating again but i was sort of wondering why i was. i guess love was in my head.she said we could have sex and all that there was a couple times where i didnt put the effort into it as i should have by goin and seeing her (she lived 45 mins away)

she dumped me again for not putting in effort

i was upset and tried and tried to get her back but she wouldnt

we didnt talk for like a month and i got drunk and texted her and tried and she said no then the next day she said shes glad she didnt do anything with me while she has been married because she loves hm more and could never do that and that he made her feel special and i lacked the confidence that he had

she also said i came off as annoying and controlling and a little clingy after the she dumped me after she said i wasnt putting in effort

i told her i was just confused and didnt know what to do/ how do you love someone yet stil get married


i havent talked to her since but i feel really down on myself for being a bitch and actually getting with her

i basically feel ashamed of myself and disgusted

i cnat figure out why i actually gave her a chance and why i was being desperate

 

[Jack Davenport]

Maybe she has a tumor.

Your first mistake was not buying her a fancy gift in the 100 dollar price range. She would have loved you forever.

 

[bobjustbob]

I'm glad to see that you finally got over that last woman. Fill us in with that closing event.

 

[sean miguel]

then 3 days after that this texting conversation happened

her: i got married. thats why we broke up

I don't see how that's a legitimate reason to break up.

her: i dont see it as a time waster...we both learned
me: this is so ****ing stupid

ikr?

she dumped me again for not putting in effort

You should get back with her then dump her for being demanding and indecisive.

 

[xfire]

She sounds fairly psychotic, you really dodged a bullet. I'd send her a thank you note and $100 for ending shit.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

bro, you should never take a rebound fling this seriously when you're still feeling betrayed and foolish after being cheated on in your previous 'relationship'...best to stick with meaningless sex (hookers, one night stands, etc) until your mind is clear and you're no longer prone to being clingy and controlling as this chicks says you were with her.

 

[Elwood70]

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

 

[cestmoi2010]

i didnt talk to her for like a week later afer i stopped contact with her she texted me saying she was gonna divorce him and she truly loved me and she made a mistake

we started dating again but i was sort of wondering why i was. i guess love was in my head.she said we could have sex and all that there was a couple times where i didnt put the effort into it as i should have by goin and seeing her (she lived 45 mins away)

As you know by now - BIG MISTAKE! If this had been me when she cried and other bullshit like that and said it was a mistake and all and she wanted to come back to me I would have told her to FUCK OFF - and I would have used those words. You can't have a successful relationship of any kind without trust and the second she did what she did the first time she would have lost all of my trust forever.

As others have said - you are far better off without her. Go find yourself a woman who will love YOU and want to be with YOU and not someone else

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

How are you going to trust someone who has betrayed her husband? But you should see if she'll give you a couple shirts and a hundred dollar gift card. If she does she's a keeper.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Oh, and post a picture.

 

[sean miguel]

The general consensus around here seems to be you CAN put a price on love and it comes out to around $100.


amirite?

 

[Death-Proof-69]

The general consensus around here seems to be you CAN put a price on love and it comes out to around $100.


amirite?

i can't guarantee this to work for everyone out there, but i did purchase my girlfriend a ring in the $100 price range early on in our relationship and i do believe that has helped sustain us through the past 7 or so years. i'm notoriously bad at gift-giving and making romantic plans/surprises so it would make a lot of sense. :dunno:

 

[ZiggyStardust]

Who gives a shit. Who gives a fuck.

 

[xfire]

Who gives a shit. Who gives a fuck.

Good call, cover both bases, you never know if one gives a shit but not a fuck or a fuck and not a shit so it's always good to be double sure.

 

[ZiggyStardust]

Good call, cover both bases, you never know if one gives a shit but not a fuck or a fuck and not a shit so it's always good to be double sure.

Thanks.

 

[RASQ]

lol, this guy again!?!?

 

[zeeblofowl_1969]

Needy people seem to attract each other

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

i didnt talk to her for like a week later afer i stopped contact with her she texted me saying she was gonna divorce him and she truly loved me and she made a mistake

we started dating again

That was your mistake. When someone fucks you over, never go back. You'll never make that mistake again.

i cnat figure out why i actually gave her a chance and why i was being desperate

You gave her a chance because you were desperate. Having someone usually seems preferable to having nobody. But what goes wrong the first time, seldom goes right the second time. When there is a third party involved, replace "seldom" with never.

 

[Johan]

In July of 2014 I started dating this girl I met. We started taking it slow and we didnt jump into anything really serious at the start.

In november she told me was going to visit her friend in texas , he is in the military and was going to be getting shipped out i wa sort of annoyed and found it a little suspicious. she said he was just a good friend and i had nothing to worry about, she just wanted to see him before he was shipped off. i decided to not fret over it

First mistake : Staying 4 lmo thes with a girl without making it serious, even if you would like it to be serious. Most girls want it to be serious. If you had made it serious, she may have given-up that marriage stuff with her military friend. Or maybe she would have slowed your down and told you about the situation.

i didnt talk to her for like a week later afer i stopped contact with her she texted me saying she was gonna divorce him and she truly loved me and she made a mistake

we started dating again but i was sort of wondering why i was. i guess love was in my head.she said we could have sex and all that there was a couple times where i didnt put the effort into it as i should have by goin and seeing her (she lived 45 mins away)

As you now know, this was a terrible mistake.
Anyway, are you saying that, only a week after she was married she had already decided to divorce ? If "Yes", how the fuck can you give any trust to such a girl ?!


Anyway, don' be to harsh with yourself : You made some mistakes. We all do. The important thing is that your learned from these mistakes and don't repeat them.
Why do we fall ? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.