Big ******* Race Relations row: Is it ever acceptable to use the n-word?

In Big ******* UK, a white middle-class teenager has been evicted from the show after using the n-word while dancing with a fellow black housemate. The two girls apparently got along reasonably well, yet the incident has sparked yet another race relations debate in the UK after a similar incident in the alleged racial ***** of ********* Big ******* contestant and Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty earlier this year.

Here's the transcript of the incident:

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(FYI, Emily is ethnically white, Charley is black, and Nicky is South Asian)

Now, in the context of the show -- Emily and Charley have got on reasonably well together. They were actually dancing, and having fun. Apparently Charley and Nicky weren't really offended themselves, shocked perhaps, but they did realise the impact it would have on the public. Clearly, Emily's intent here was to be cool, funny or endearing; she wasn't intending to be malicious. One of the questions being asked at the moment is... 'does that even matter'?

Are certain words so offensive that they could never be spoken even to a close friend in a playful manner? If the n-word is always wrong, is 'white trash' wrong in any context too? What about an Englishman calling a French person 'froggy'?
 

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