Big Dick Slang

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DuanCulo

Moderator
Staff member
The Summer of Dick

Friends... others...

Welcome to the Summer of Dick.

:partysml:

I am resur-erecting this deceptively titled thread (I thought I'd see "boxer Howitzer", or something else in the idiomatic vein, but rather, I see dudes swinging their main veins), to christen the Summer of Dick (feel free to spunk the bow).

:rubbel:

The OP hasn't signed on in a while, so I propose a Dick junta, and as Dick King of the undead thread, I'm widening its scope, if only for the summer (the OP, after all, hasn't asked Adam to cut him off).

DICK SLANG:

1. the aforementioned terminology. Meat baton. That's another one. One of my favs. "Beat it up, with that shit!"

2. dudes, tgirls, dick-swinging and slangin'

3. all things enriching, educational, and entertaining relating to our best friends, our dicks.

Away we go:

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15 Places Around The World Where The Penis Is Worshipped

https://www.scoopwhoop.com/Places-Where-Penis-Is-Worshipped

... Korean Dickhenge, going there.

Summer of Dick!

Dick slang is everywhere (Dick found a Stanford-hosted trove of names for your meat and potatoes, but they were pretty weak... 'least not as finely crafted as these here from our fellow dick-obsessed, the scribblers at thoughtcatalog, bless their little hairy canaries:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/05/slang-for-penis

The BJ slang is an exceptional collection. "huffing bone" :)

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SUMMER OF DICK - Health Edition

There's usually a marked difference between her grip

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and his,

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[SUP]https://bigbookaltpress.com/product/big-coloring-book-of-cocks[/SUP]

A FOUser#4510856320198a PSA - :eek: bahware :eek: - "Death Grip Syndrome" :banana:

https://www.vice.com/amp/en_us/article/nn97ag/is-death-grip-syndrome-a-masturbation-myth-293

---

And holy cow - who saw this? :surprise: Danny Wylde getting out of the jizz biz, faulting a decade of Cialis runnin' his dick down?

http://www.ladbible.com/now/weird-i...fering-terrible-effects-on-his-penis-20170312

I think Bobbi Starr probably helped. ;)

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Your dick coulda had spines. The next time she's bitching that a giant dick cake is not funny, not with her memaw there, you tell her that your dick coulda had spines. Happy Birthday, shut up, eat your cake. Eat your dick cake, eat it.

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SUMMER OF DICK

Don't believe me?

Number five, 8 "Wild" Facts About the Penis (quotes are mine - "size matters" is not a revelation... that fuckin' spine thing, though).

https://www.livescience.com/39046-7-wild-facts-about-the-penis.html

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Why Human Penises Lost Their Spines

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/03/110309-humans-men-penises-spines-dna-genome-science

... because it's exhausting to have to chase the pussy, every fuckin' time, is what I gotta think was the evolutionary calculation. Not a scientist, though.
 
SUMMER OF DICK

Randomosity!

Cool amulet dick from, where else, Asia. Everybody loves dick, Asians love dick out loud:

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"Yes, I'd like to speak to your manager, right now. I just got my coat back, and it's absolutely filled with cum!"

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All hail. Atta boy, dude - I don't want to hear you complain much about anything in life, chief. "I got laid off a week before Christmas, and now my car won't start." Yeah, but you're always hung like a horse. :rofl2:

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SUMMER OF DICK - Great American Penis Edition

Countrymen, get your big American dicks out, and bust a nut all over this clearly flawed survey:

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:rofl:

Two things you can take away from this: (1) Dick's keeping the average up in all his states, and 2) it would appear that Mormons have bigger than average dicks.

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Wave that dick proud! God bless America, and our beautiful dicks!

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Summer of Dick
Beautiful American Edition

You may not know Dick, but he can be asshole. An ugly American, if you will.

But not today, here as the echoes of the Revolution's celebration fade, and in the titanic shadow of the 50th anniversary of the US, first swinging its dicks on the moon. No. Today, Dick is a beautiful American, with good news:

Here How You Get Insane Erect, Hard Rock Penis - Porn Trade Secret! :D

"For example, one guy once fell through a glass wall on a shower in the middle of a scene. He stood up with shards of glass sticking out of him and his dick was still hard."

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https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19546917/porn-stars-share-how-they-stay-hard-on-set

For real, though, some of those gas station and porn shop pills - they give you real pocket steel for more than a minute, so much so that they make the Dean's List:

https://www.fda.gov/Drugs/Resources...ineSafely/MedicationHealthFraud/ucm234539.htm

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Right here is an authentic and well-written piece on penis pumps, sit-ups for your dick, all sorta stuff like that, to make sure that you're thick as a brick, wherever dick pops up. I have heard good things about water pumps, and I've been known to stick Little Dickard in an olde style pneumatic suction contraption configuration, purely for science. ;)

https://medium.com/@dainis/penis-pumps-f3d9dc36ce69

Happy Summer of Dick! See? Beauty knows beauty :loveeyes:

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https://songmeanings.com/m/songs/view/3530822107858743416
 
Hello there, Dickheads! I'm so happy you're joining me for another Big Dick Slang. Your boy FOUser#4510856320198a is here to sling, so without further ado -

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We have just crossed over, friends! To the Autumn of Dick!

AUTUMN OF DICK!

Dick brings you penis through the ages. Through the arts, in our culture and literature, no matter where you go, dick is there. Medicine, government, business, pop, spirituality, even the kitchen. Especially the kitchen. Dick penetrates our lives. Again and again. Deep dick, everywhere.

And now the Autumn of Dick. Autumn, when thoughts turn to loss and dying, a frightful time in the history of man, and a more frightful time for dicks. Nevertheless, it's dicks who are feared! As is ever the case. :facepalm:

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Fearful Dicks - read some stories from women who took on a dick - TOO BIG (?)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/throbbing-pringles-can

And turning our attention to the news, we can see the fear and trauma wrought by dicks unrestrained in the kitchen.

Fear of dick cost Miley a movie. Dick cake!

https://www.laughtard.com/miley-cyr...rom-hotel-transylvania-over-penis-cake-photos

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Dick is everywhere, my friends. Feared and fearful.

Autumn of Dick!
 
Autumn of Dick
Creative Arts Edition


Autumn sends dicks indoors, taking refuge from the oncoming cold, dreaded mortal enemy to dicks everywhere.

So why not work on your dick drawing, the revered ancestor of the dick pic?

Dick drawing tutorials:

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Autumn of Dick
Big Dick Slang - Bitter Truth Edition Pt 1

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It matters. Dick size matters. Everyone can just knock it the fuck off, with the sugarcoating. You have to have a pretty decent-sized dick, in order to give a good fuck. Anyone will tell you that. What's a decent-sized dick? Why, I'm glad you asked!

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By now, if you pay attention to your penis, you've discovered the thevisualiser.net. In fact, Dick's surprised he hasn't brought it up before. A recent visit to their site revealed that they've become ever more sophisticated in the measure and categorization of the phallus. You can compare your dick to a great range of other dicks, some scientifically procured (that sounds creepy, doesn't it?), and some of the porn culture variety, like Ron Jeremy and Julian Rios (one of the most perfect dicks out there, in my opinion).

Back to the decent-sized dick question: there are a lot of points scored for the right tool in the right hands, so to speak, but the fact is that you've got to be 5" erect, with 80% cardboard-toilet-roll fillage, in order to properly dick someone down. Dick got that from the mountaintop, so hush. Word.

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Autumn of Dick
Big Dick Slang - Bitter Truth Edition Pt 2

The furthest left are Julian Rios (the most perfect dick they offer to compare to, at thevisualiser.net, in Dick's opinion) and a survey result of women's ideal dick size ("Mr. Perfect"). The rest are Lifestyles, Durex, the Kinsey research average, the average measure of the Visualiser guys identifying themselves as "average", and the average Caucasian. Away we go, this is fun!

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Autumn of Dick
Big Dick Slang - Scrotum Totem Ad Infinitum

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Unquestionably, the whole of human experience rests on the work of dicks, getting out there and dicking around. They knew this 3000 years ago. Dick correspondent Ashley Cowie reports from the scene of a massive, rock-hard old dick:

"Ms. Ängeby said when she realized what it was she thought ”oh my god, it can’t be true”.

https://www.ancient-origins.net/news-history-archaeology/phallus-0012665

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A little bit of hard truth here, sport? As impressed as the ladies are by a great big old dick? Well, they're equally and oppositely impressed by the tiny dicks.

Read dozens of accounts of women confronted by shrimp dick, and how they immediately told all their friends. And some of yours.

"I begged him to just stick it in. He said in a tired, flat, sad voice, ‘It is in.’ Awkward."

https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-...-describe-the-smallest-penis-theyve-ever-seen

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Hey, maybe send her a dick pic to break the ice? Chics can't seem to make it stop, so they're laying down some ground rules, check it out:

"I don't like porn because I have to see the men's stupid faces, whereas with a dick pic, I can imagine whatever I want or even find a dick pic that looks like my boyfriend's."

https://mashable.com/article/dick-pics-guide

 
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