Awkward

[Shifty]

Tell me, has this ever happened to you?

You're attending a funeral or a wake and a close relative of the recently deceased greets you.

Inevitably, they will say "Thank you for coming."

... how do you respond to this? :dunno:

I've personally blown this one on a few occasions. Some of my best (worst) responses have been:

- "No problem."
- "Any time."
- "Ok."

I find this to be such an awkward situation, and it seems I'm always caught off guard! :o

 

[feller469]

I wouldn't be caught dead anywhere else?

 

[Ace Bandage]

I always say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to call."

I agree though, it's unbelievably awkward. There's really not anything you can say at a funeral that's going to make the person feel better. It's also awkward being one of a handful of white people at a black person's funeral.

"Any time." :1orglaugh - that's fucking epic.

 

[Vanilla Bear]

Any time is a great one! :1orglaugh

 

[Shifty]

When I said "Any Time" the guy just stopped and gawked at me. Then his face soured just a tad and I could tell he was thinking "Why you motherfucker ..."

 

[Thomas O'Malley]

Don't answer it directly, but say something like "Hey, he was a good lad". :thumbsup:

 

[Mayhem]

I always say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to call."

I agree though, it's unbelievably awkward. There's really not anything you can say at a funeral that's going to make the person feel better. It's also awkward being one of a handful of white people at a black person's funeral.
"Any time." :1orglaugh - that's fucking epic.

I was at a Battalion memorial service for a black sergeant who had died in a car wreck. I spotted trouble on the horizon when the keyboard player (organist is way too flattering a term) started. He was a refugee from a minor league ballpark and his playing was poor even by those standards. You know the "nee-nee-nee" thing ballpark organists play before sounding "Charge!"? That was this guy at his peak.

Then a lady from the sergeants Deep-South Baptist church got up to sing "Amazing Grace". Guys, you have never heard this song belted out the way this lady wailed it. You seriously expected glass to shatter every time she hit a high note. And with the doofus accompanying with his nee-nee-nee, I fuckin' lost it. Purple face, holding my nose in a death-grip, holding my breath, tears streaming, my entire chain-of-command on the stage facing us. There was almost two funerals that day. And every time, during this endless travesty of a song, that I somewhat managed to get myself under control, the guy sitting next to me would nudge me (almost on cue) and start me cracking up again. 30 seconds more and I don't know what would have happened.

 

[PirateKing]

"Of course" is a fine reply.

I have actually never been to a funeral or wake. I have no idea how I would act if I were at a funeral. I'd just go straight for the food.

 

[STDiva]

I said "Don't worry about it." once. Fail.

 

[Shifty]

I said "Don't worry about it." once. Fail.

That's right up there with mine. :o

 

[squallumz]

ive yet to attend an actual funeral since i think the whole funeral thing is awkward.

i mean, wtf do you do there?

 

[alexpnz]

I wouldn't have missed it for the world?

 

[Shifty]

ive yet to attend an actual funeral since i think the whole funeral thing is awkward.

i mean, wtf do you do there?

It ain't fun, that's for sure.



Thanks for asking:

...

 

[Deepcover]

Don't really recall having those akward moments at a funeral. One thing I can't stand to hear at a funeral is that song "How great thou art". Yeesh:hairpull:

 

[Blues84]

Last one I went to I just nodded and gave them a smile.....

 

[lurkingdirk]

It is somewhat awkward, virtually no one is trained for situations like that. Also, the person saying, "thank you for coming," is feeling awkward, too. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is just to smile and nod. Hugs, if you're close enough.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Do what you can to make the survivors feel good.

 

[Rane1071]

Yeah, I'm hopeless in those situations myself. I usually mumble something lame like, "it's the least I could do".

But nothing you say seems right at those times.

 

[STDiva]

It is somewhat awkward, virtually no one is trained for situations like that. Also, the person saying, "thank you for coming," is feeling awkward, too. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is just to smile and nod. Hugs, if you're close enough.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Do what you can to make the survivors feel good.

Survivors?? Was it a train wreck funeral?

 

[lurkingdirk]

Survivors?? Was it a train wreck funeral?

Using the appropriate language. Think about it - so-and-so was survived by ...

All I meant was the living relatives/friends of the deceased.

 

[STDiva]

Using the appropriate language. Think about it - so-and-so was survived by ...

All I meant was the living relatives/friends of the deceased.

STDiva makes joke. Critical miss. STDiva loses a turn.