An Etiquette Question... #6

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

In a departure from my ongoing series meant to discuss social expectations, conduct and morality I'm going to take a bit of a departure with the sixth installment. This time I'm not going to pose a hypothetical situation and simply ask a question...

Everyone knows that most people behave differently online than in real life. Apparently anonymity makes people bolder, as repercussions are further away and less severe (no one is likely to punch you through these here tubes we call the Intarwebs). So the question is... should this be the case? Do you believe that that people should be held to a lesser standard online? That perhaps people are too timid in real life? Is this simple catharsis at work, or is the more forward and often more aggressive and/or callous behavior seen online unwarranted and uncalled for? How do your actions and responses differ here from how You Might respond in the real world?

What do you think? What do you think...?

 

[Shifty]

I think this should be a question on the FreeOnes moderator application form.

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

People will act like a cunt on the Internet usually because they don't care what people they don't know think of them, and their warped racist/bigoted/misogynistic/homophobic views can be spewed forth without any consequence. Thankfully, the veil of anonymity also allows others to tell them they're being a cunt without fear of, as you say, being punched in the face. Give and take.

 

[Ace Bandage]

It may seem hard to believe, but I'm an even bigger douche in real life than I am on here.

Le that sink in.

 

[jod0565]

As far as this board is concerned, IMO, the people here are themselves.

The trolls, well, they be trolls.

Gnome sayin'.

 

[redwingsfan]

Morality forming behavior no matter what one thinks of ones acts.

 

[SabrinaDeep]

Good manners, sensibility, respect. You have them or you don't. I can't imagine meeting AgentRaven in person and being impressed by his sensibility, respect and education. In real life, if you get to know ****, you avoid it. In Internet the best you can do is to ignore it, but you can't avoid to cross paths with trolls over and over again. That's why the net is their fav battlefield. Sure, behind a computer they might sound more bold that we expect them to be in real life, but that's mainly because reading bold stuff it remains more impressed in the mind than hearing it. But **** on the net equals **** in real life, always. Eventually, it is true the opposite scenario: You Might meet good cyber people who in real life are shitty people.
So, give the right weight to "good" people you meet online, drop the bad ones all together. My 2 cents.

 

[GodsEmbryo]

In a departure from my ongoing series meant to discuss social expectations, conduct and morality I'm going to take a bit of a departure with the sixth installment. This time I'm not going to pose a hypothetical situation and simply ask a question...

Everyone knows that most people behave differently online than in real life. Apparently anonymity makes people bolder, as repercussions are further away and less severe (no one is likely to punch you through these here tubes we call the Intarwebs). So the question is... should this be the case? Do you believe that that people should be held to a lesser standard online? That perhaps people are too timid in real life? Is this simple catharsis at work, or is the more forward and often more aggressive and/or callous behavior seen online unwarranted and uncalled for? How do your actions and responses differ here from how You Might respond in the real world?

What do you think? What do you think...?

The anonymity that the internet brings, gives a sense of security and that indeed makes people bolder in their reactions. After all, in real life you are taken responsible for what you do or say but since you're hiding behind a screen and nobody knows you, it's easier to cross that border and do what you otherwise might not do. For good or for bad. If someone's very shy and timid for example it could help him or her to interact with others. People give their opinion where in real life they might shut up because of what people around them might think (for good or for bad). And of course douchebags might still be douchebags.
The point is that it, despite the anonymity, still says something about you. Someone might be a nice guy in real life (and I don't know that), but if he behaves like a shithead on the internet I'm not going to apply double standards because "oh well, it's the internet, let's take it with a grain of salt". The anonymity of the internet could indeed be a 'tool' to voice your opinions or help you in any other way, but it shouldn't be an excuse to let your bad alter ego out. It's not appreciated in real life, and it's not appreciated on the net.

 

[Mayhem]

The internet is universal. Everyone in the developed world is free to find the place they want to converse. So if we generically conclude that the person acting in an aggressive manner is a coward in the "real world", doesn't that mean that everyone is a coward in the real world?

I'll say this for my part: In my career, if I want to stay employed, I have to eat a lot of ****. And in my quest to be counted as one of the best at what I do, I've had to eat that much more ****. That's fine. If it wasn't the same for my friends and if it wasn't worse for a lot of other people in the world, then it would be tougher to deal with. But I keep my perspective and drive on.

But that's it. If I'm not getting paid to be harrassed, I'm not taking it. Not on the computer, not in "real" life. And one guy in particular found out the hard way that if you cross the line with me at work, pray you don't meet me on the street.

But hey, this is just words on a screen. For all you know, I weigh 85 lbs., have arms like linguine and am making this **** up.

It's funny how things work out. When cellphones first became widely available there were whole ad campaigns about how you can now conduct business while driving your car. And when the internet came along, I clearly remember commercials where you can transform yourself into someone completely different and no one will know. Neither of these concepts really worked out in the end, did they?

 

[Jagger69]

I think this should be a question on the FreeOnes moderator application form.

LOL....I would agree.

I believe that some people behave like assholes online simply because they can and risk no real repercussions (getting ****** from a site for instance....."Oh no! I just can't go on!! I've been ******!!!". In my opinion, these types fall into a couple of different categories. The "merry prankster" type who just wants to create mayhem (no connotation with any board member on FOs intended!! ) and somehow gets his jollies from seeing people get all bent out of shape over his rude and disruptive antics is one type. The second is more sinister....someone who has serious emotional issues who is able to live out his Willard-like frustrations by symbolically assuming a different persona who is way more powerful, assertive, combative, successful, intelligent and just-plain-tough than he is in real life. The third type is the most genuine.....someone who truly is an asshole in real life and makes no pretense to be anyone else on the internet. Take your pick....anyone of them can fall into one of these categories.

Thankfully, most people with whom I have had exchanges on the web have been really nice people....generally respectful of others even when they are in disagreement. Makes it much more enjoyable to have a discussion in this manner and greatly increases the chances that someone's mind might be changed rather than simply encouraging anger.

 

[Harley Spencer]

I think it's a bit like being *****, as when you're ***********, you become more carefree, less concerned with being judged, and you're not afraid to say whatever it is you're thinking. Same goes for online. You're protected by a screen, miles away from the people you're talking to, so there is no real life consequence for what you say online. You're more willing to express your opinion. And I think that for many people, it shows your true side, since a lot of what you say online is stuff you would be too afraid to say in real life.

Of course this doesn't necessarily hold true for absolutely everyone in every sense, as some people really are that way in real life, so it's what you see is what you get.

Personally for me, yes, the anonymity does help a bit, simply because I'm so shy in real life. I'm more afraid to stand up for myself because of my size, gender, appearance, and I worry about what might happen if I get into it with someone, either emotionally or physically. For example, every time I go to the post office, I see people arguing with the employees, yelling at them, calling them names, making a huge scene, and sometimes I wish I could sum up the courage to go up to them and tell them to stop acting like an ass, because not only is it frustrating for the employee they're harassing, but it's causing all the people in line behind them to become agitated since the guy arguing with the employee is taking up so much time.
But if this situation were happening online, I'd feel a little less helpless, so I'd be more willing to step in and stand up not only for myself, but for the people who are being harassed.

 

[Chopper3000]

People will act like a cunt on the Internet usually because they don't care what people they don't know think of them, and their warped racist/bigoted/misogynistic/homophobic views can be spewed forth without any consequence. Thankfully, the veil of anonymity also allows others to tell them they're being a cunt without fear of, as you say, being punched in the face. Give and take.

If I met you in real life I would say to you that Spurs are going to get fucking stuffed tomorrow. However on here I can quite happily add the words "you cunt" to the end of the sentence. Happy new year mate

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

If I met you in real life I would say to you that Spurs are going to get fucking stuffed tomorrow. However on here I can quite happily add the words "you cunt" to the end of the sentence. Happy new year mate

..... and I would say "pffft, Charlie Adam injured half our team, so probably." But faux Internet bravado means I will instead predict "Spurs to win 9-3. Adebayor with six of them."

May your evening be free of drama, ***** and that twat Jools Holland. :thumbsup:

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

I think this should be a question on the FreeOnes moderator application form.

Wait, there's an application form!? I just sent a picture of my junk to Anders and was in. I didn't have to fill out squat.

Probably good I didn't have to fill anything out. Little known fact: I'm entirely illiterate. It's true, I'm just sitting here randomly banging on the keyboard. If anything comes out that's even moderately intelligible I assure it's just due to random chance and the sheer amount of posts I make... you know, that whole "1000 monkeys, 1000 typewriters" thing. :dunno:

Anyways...

Lot of interesting answers here (especially from my perspective, what with my shiny new title and all ). Kinda wish I could still give rep, I probably would have tossed some out here.

So, give the right weight to "good" people you meet online, drop the bad ones all together. My 2 cents.

Probably good advice, online or not.

I think GodsEmbryo and Harley are more or less hitting on where my personal feelings reside. That a lot of people are, ultimately, truer to themselves online. With fewer consequences a person can more readily express their thoughts and what's in their hearts... which means people being less shy or afraid of things like rejection or appearing "weak" and potentially putting more good out there, or being... well, more aggressive and putting more bad out there. For good or for ill.

Personally, in the real world I'm just... me, but quieter. I guess probably because I'm pretty verbose and I figure a lot of people don't want to hear all the stuff rattling around in my head, which makes online a decent place to toss it out there since, well, you can just skip it if you want (that mousewheel will get you past what I post faster than you think ). Of course, in my case I have that wee condition of mine, so I'm more or less compelled to be who and what I am, for better or for worse. So I don't have much ability to change that, and in some ways and cases I've tried, and failed pretty miserably.

 

[bofuvum]

It may seem hard to believe, but I'm an even bigger douche in real life than I am on here.

Le that sink in.

I know you can fight, but it's our wits that make us men.

 

[luis1972]

This is a virtual world, you don't supposed to be what you really are in front of the "real" people.

 

[Rey C.]

On boards like this, where there is almost zero chance that (non-OCSM) posters will ever meet each other, yes, I believe the anonymity does add to the internet warrior complex. On the professional/work related boards I've been on, it was pretty common for people to meet at some point, or at least there was a chance that someone who knew you would know someone else there. You had that six degrees of separation thing going on, so you weren't really and truly anonymous. And in those cases, the boards, overall, tended to be a bit more civil than here.

What also happens (that I've noticed about myself) is that because of the nature of the board (sex related) and the freedom to say whatever you want anonymously, I will express political and sexual views and opinions here that I probably wouldn't if it was not an anonymous board. But on the other hand, the biggest challenge that I find here is when you encounter a troll or a complete moron, you can't let yourself remain engaged with them for any period of time - otherwise you fall into that thing about "when you argue with a fool, people may not be able to tell who is the fool from a distance." Hopefully in 2014 I'll be able to follow my own advice better than I did in 2013.

 

[Armanaeus]

Nothing like the feeling of being protected by two monitors and the great distance between them. I believe it is this that gives everyone the courage to be open to the point of being sarcastic in the wrong places and relying on negative communication because ... there is not enough negativity in our lives.

Anonymity is not an issue. Even if you still put yourself out there, talk about yourself, your favorite music, favorite birds, favorite pornstars, favorite movies, etc., you are still a stranger. People will still not know you. Such is the curse of social networking.

The least we can do is assume the best about each other and be less of cheesedicks ourselves.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

I have not read the OP or the responses because of the presumption of insufficiency demonstrated by Happy throughout the board and I'll just assume you're wondering about dildos. Slide it in slowly, like a gentleman.