30 Things I learned from Porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy cummers.
11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist (ok 1 guy does).
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there and never frown at the size.
29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
30. Dorky guys never have to beg.
 
11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

LOL
 
17. Asian men don't exist
:rofl:

11 :rofl: was really good, but I liked quite a lot this asian one too.

29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Yeah, this one is true, but a sad one -at least for me-, I don't like them men putting their hand on their heads. :mad:
 

squallumz

knows petras secret: she farted.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

sweeeeeeeet!
 

member006

Closed Account
I did use a search. Nothing came up. Oh well....its still funny.

Feel free to add to the list.

I never learned anything from porn, I'm a natural, I started out knowing it all. Even where my "search" button was. :)









































Just kidding.:D It is a funny list.

LL
 
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
Lol, that's exactly why I think porn movies are way too silly and cheesy! Plots are useless in porn. I'd rather have 1h 30 minutes of sex scenes than sex scenes with a stupid plot in between each scenes...
 
All of these are very stereotypical but true. These are the ones that I like the most:
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy cummers.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
22. Men always pull out.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there and never frown at the size.
29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Nonetheless, I think that this was a good find.
 

SBTNW

Banned
great thread, mate!!!

it's funny as hell!

rep to you

all I learned from Porn is that I'm fucked up.
 
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