SEX MYTH #1: Men enjoy sex more than women.
FACT: If you're a man, and you believe this, then the truth is that women just don't enjoy sex with you.
SEX MYTH #2: You can judge the size of a man's package by the size of his feet.
FACT: There is no relationship between the size of a man's feet and the size of his genital organs, or so says science.
SEX MYTH #3: Masturbation causes blindness.
FACT: If this were actually true, then no one in the entire world is reading this at this very moment.
SEX MYTH #4: You can get pregnant from kissing.
FACT: It's okay to believe this myth if, like, you're a little *** trying to work out the oftentimes disturbing details of the adult world. If you're an adult and you believe this, then make sure you stuff a fistful of condoms in your mouth before sucking face.
SEX MYTH #5: You can catch an STD from the toilet.
FACT: Sexually transmitted diseases require moist environments to breed. The only thing you can catch from a toilet seat is "*** cooties."
SEX MYTH #6: Men think about sex every seven seconds.
FACT: If men think about sex eight times a minute during a football game, then that changes what that sport is about entirely.
SEX MYTH #7: Women are incapable of having casual sex because they're so emotional.
FACT: Your *** would beg to disagree.
SEX MYTH #8: It is possible to break a penis.
FACT: There is no actual "bone" in a "boner." The penis can, however, tear. So feel free to scream out loud about that one.
SEX MYTH #9: The average penis is eight inches.
FACT: The average size of a penis is six inches, or 15 centimeters if that makes you feel bigger.
SEX MYTH #10: Green M&M's make you horny.
FACT: This is no more than a little green candy that looks like a pill. Not the prescribed little blue pill that some men eat like candy.
SEX MYTH #11: Sting had "tantric sex" for eight hours straight.
FACT: This is an urban myth. "Tantric sex" can last for hours, but it's more a state of mind than a physical act. The average length of sex is three to seven minutes, or roughly the amount of time it takes to nuke and eat a Hot Pocket.
SEX MYTH #12: Hot tubs can prevent pregnancy.
FACT: Hot tubs only help facilitate pregnancy, especially during spring break.
SEX MYTH #13: Inbreeding causes mutant babies.
FACT: If ******** with your ****** caused genetic mutations, then the 11 states where it is legal to marry your ****** would be overrun with octopus-lizard babies.
SEX MYTH #14: ******** Mountain Dew decreases your sperm count.
FACT: The popular soft ***** beverage increases your desire to participate in extreme sports.
SEX MYTH #15: "Blue balls" can be fatal.
FACT: Men can feel pain in their testicles after prolonged episodes of sexual arousal without sexual release. But if this was fatal, then prom night would be followed by mass funerals a few days later.
