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I KNEW something was awry, hmm this is why I need a kick ass side kick. Me and a pornstar could totally make a room go wild.

Ey, EY! Take it easy Mr. Diva. They even made a game out of it, they had girls flash their tits when I walked out of the room. Can you tell who wasn't invited to the meth orgy? Hold on I am all pissed off again.

They said I was a fruitcake and kicked me out of the bar. Turns out this town is tiny, and has a huge meth problem. Would rather kick me out than throw an invite. When in truth I deserve it.

A girl I had a crush on ***** with a bunch of dudes at the same time, and now they all **** me. :lame: Fuck, I didn't even get any.

Hospitality is the sexiest thing EVER!

I wrote a letter to the president

I once got hit in the mouth by a flying chair in a mosh pit at the county fair. I STILL HAVE ALL MY TEETH!

I thought it was good

Hahahaha

Yeah I would, tonight would be cool.

Need any volunteer talent?

Write stuff about yourself that makes you feel good and makes yourself look better. I will start off by saying... I am a bad ass.

No, not until it ruins my day.

I was riding my bike downtown when I saw some thugs run out of a smoke shop with their arms full of merchandise with the owner chasing them. I followed them on my bike, when the got into a car. I chased the car on my bike to an intersection and caught up, I hurled my bike at their car, but...

I think I know her

Why are they embarrassed?

The fact that it isn't my penis in her mouth

YESSS! I thought that was her, she is hot!

I use condoms When I worked at an adult theater we used to give out paper towels.

Dan Akroyds *****

Yah

I had Strawberrys, Lettuce, & Tomatoes As well as some wild spearmint which I use to make tea.

Yeah, it was like a loogie

I like to lick my finger and put it under the hood...its gotta have a clitoris

More titties at music festivals. Fuuuck Yes

I like cheap ass lawyers

I like to use baking soda

I want to sue someone for a quarter their paycheck.

Yee Haw

Do you eat the gold too?

I need an aggressive one.

Can you get special freeone's deals on ****?

I am on naked right now

If you were to get or receive a penis piercing... would you get it on top or on bottom?

I chased some of those models halfway 'round the world ya know...

Post more of your favorite pics!

Oh yeah, while your in Prague...go watch the orchestra

Ooooh Europe is fun

Does anyone know how I can get a hold of one... I am getting bored and that looks like fun.

If your single, visit a brothel

Are you anywhere close to me? L.A.?

When did this arrive? We should get the Naked models to post on here

Yup, the resource is now non-renewable, pilfering a piece is one thing. Taking the whole garden however...is horrible I bet they didn't even eat them. A traditional reason why we like to own guns. Miss Roosevelt would also be pissed.

I **** the unappreciative lazy good for nothing baggers that live here and stir up trouble that make U.S. look bad.

Yes, I totally get made fun of for the one time I didn't.

Someone stole some lettuce and plants from my garden. They were just about done and someone ripped them out entirely. I will fight for that, I totally put effort into growing them. It's in the same category as, "you shot my cow/goat"

Forrest Gump First of all it should have been narrated by Robert Redford Secondly, I don't think that is really Forrest's *** in the end...

Those scraps are a "hand me down."

I wood

THEY HAVE MCDONALDS IN EUROPE TOO! (For reference, try the McKrocket)