I am able to read between the lines and accept your challenge! If fucking me does not put you to *****, I don't know what will!
I now present to you, my alphabet:
Advancing the aardvark.
Buffing the baboon.
Cradling the cat.
Doing the donkey.
Elongating the elephant.
Feeling the ferret.
Grabbing the great white whale.
Hugging the hippo.
Icing the iguana.
Jerking the jungle jim.
Keying the koala.
Loving the llama.
Making the monkey shine.
Needing the newt.
Observing the octopus.
Petting the penguin.
Quaffing the quacker.
Rubbing the red salmon.
Soothing the seal.
Talking on the telephone.
Unopening the umbrella.
Varnishing the vanity.
Waxing the weasel.
Xtending the Xylophone.
Yanking the yak.
Zoinking the zebra.
You are very welcome.
Copyright, StanScratch. Any unauthorized use of this material in any form of print, electronic, wavelength, data based, stone based, metal based or third based media will result in me sitting on your face. Can only be read out loud by Morgan Freeman or myself. Hollywood may contact me for movie rights.